Grieving Process

When having children most parents have a dream for them. It’s our dream, maybe not there dream. We envision things like our children walking, talking, smiling, having friends, being in sports, music, band, acting, collage, jobs, dating, wedding, baby’s, and much success along the way. We want things to be better for them than it was for us. We are handed our little bundle of joy. We feel that immediate connection. But wait, what happens when you can’t seem to find any connection between you and your baby? This was me. The questions I asked myself. Why did I feel a immediate connection with Brittany and why am I not feeling it with Lindsey? What was I doing wrong? What was wrong with her? Am I having postpartum depression? I didn’t think I was depressed. That first year with Lindsey was so hard. By the time Lindsey was diagnosed with autism at 28 months, I was crying daily, not sleeping, feeling like life was so unfair, I felt alone, and that other families seem to have it all. When we went out in public I felt the stare and glare from people that didn’t understand what we were dealing with. I felt like we were being judged by so many people. I didn’t feel like our family was socially acceptable. Most days in those early years I said to myself and others, “I can’t do this anymore”. It turns out I was grieving. Sadly, I focused oh everything I didn’t think we would ever have. All the things Lindsey would miss out on because of autism. Autism took away MY dreams for our little girl. Grieving is something that we all do from time to time and for different reasons. You shouldn’t rush someone that is grieving. Give them time and support. We have been so fortunate. Lindsey has had so many of HER dreams come true.

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